Thursday, October 23, 2008

My friend's mother.......... my mother

Today I attended the funeral for the mother of a dear friend. In the quiet moments before the service began, I finally, almost 45 years after the fact, said "good-bye" to my mother.

You see, I was 5 years old when my mother made her journey to the other side, and I was too young to know what happened. Then, the topic of my mother was absolutely TABOO for the remainder of my childhood. For years, I've kept that taboo alive...... except for a conversation here or there with my older sister.

As the coffin was closed before the service, I just started crying, feeling the pain of never having said good-bye. A voice in my heart said "you can say good-bye now"....... so that's just what I did.

I'm so sad for my dear friend, in the loss of her mother. At the same time, I'm so grateful for the chance, at last, to say good-bye to mine.

My dear friend had the privilege of being there with her mother, as she died. She told me how special it was for her to be there, singing to her and praying for her.

I came home after the funeral and called my older sister. I asked her if anyone was with my mother. She said, no, that she didn't think any of the family was there. So, now I'm crying again. I'm so thankful that our attitudes toward death and dying have changed, thanks to organizations such as Hospice. My dear friend's mother had the gift of her daughter's presence. My comfort lies in the knowing that my mother was not truly alone........ God was there.


Jayne said...

((((Evelyn)))) Indeed, she was not alone at all.

Café Chick said...

What a special moment in time for you to treasure. I hope that in saying goodbye to your own mother that you will be at peace in that part of your life now.

Elaine Williams said...

This is a beautiful post, and very touching. We have come a long way in helping terminally ill die, but there's still a way to go to help people understand the enormity of the grief process. I wish you the best.

Ruth said...

Your observations are too true. Dying is often a taboo subject and is almost treated like a personal failure in our society. It is good that you recognize the significance of your loss and the comfort of knowing God.

Evelyn said...

I appreciate your kind and thoughtful comments!