Sunday, June 13, 2010

Feeling ALIVE

When asked how I'm feeling today, the only description I could think of was, "I'm feeling alive!".

Here are some other words:




Yesterday, I was able to make a few decisions that have been weighing me down for a while. I'm so grateful to be out of the fog of indecision and inaction. This is truly God's grace.

It's funny, even writing this I start to feel a tinge of fear. Will this feeling last? Did I make "wrong" decisions? Well, in answer to the first question "NO.... this, too, shall pass; that's OK. For right now, I choose to FEEL rather than to try to hold onto the feeling." In answer to the second question "Maybe, but making NO decision was DEFINITELY the wrong decision; and if I was wrong, then I'll deal with the consequences. It's OK."

Meanwhile, it's good to feel alive!

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Gratitude- choosing my attitude

I've gotta say that this "embracing solitude" is easy when I'm consciously choosing it. Yesterday, however, I took my car to the shop, prepared with a book to read while I waited for the work to be done.

Imagine my surprise when I was told that the 60,000 mile maintenance requires that the timing belt be changed out. I gulped and said, OK. (You see, I'm a recent convert to getting the scheduled maintenance done promptly instead of changing the oil and hoping for the best!)

OK, so, I would pull out the credit card. (That's a whole other post just simmering in my brain.) Then, when I was told it was an ALL DAY job, I realized I woud be spending the day at home with NO CAR, so no choice to go somewhere.

The funny thing is, I had planned to just stay home and get work done around the house yesterday. Not having the choice changed my state of mind somehow, though. I got a LITTLE bit of work done, but not much. To tell the truth, I pretty much moped around.

Today I realize that I DID have a choice............ not the choice to stay home or go off somewhere, but I could choose a different attitude. Somehow I didn't see that yesterday.

Today I'm choosing gratitude....... just for today. All I can handle is 24-hours at a time.